Beer Commercial Contest Winner!

Interactive Distractions wraps up our latest contest for a $20 Amazon Gift Card.

The contest was to name Chris’ beer and give us a little commercial with it.

Our Beer naming commercial winner will be displayed the same way we did our GoW ESRB contest.  We’ll mention the top 2.

The first is our runner up. A loyal listener that used to hate on us, but now loves us.  Used to hate on GoW, but now loves it.  Hates on WKC and never played it, but it’s funny.

Necro’s entry:

*note* the word f-ALE is suppose to be read as “fail”
============
*cue cheesy infomercial music*

Announcer1: Hey there folks! Don’t touch that dial!

Announcer2: Yes, have we got a treat for you!

AN1: So take a minute from your nightly routine of  browsing bestiality porn at 3am and come learn about our wonderful product!

AN2: So what do we have today?  Please  tell me it has to do with young Filipino men and massage oil?!

*awkward pause*

AN1:Not exactly but we do have something that will make you forget you are a disgusting pervert!

AN2:So enough teasing what is our product?

AN1: A wonderful new ale that his sure to knock your socks off with its bold flavor!

AN1: Ladies and Gents I introdouce you to… White Knight f-ALE

AN2: White Knight f-ALE you say?  Sounds delicious what is in it?

AN1: Well we start out with a sweet honey nut brown ale with a complex rich and creamy character. The honey taste is easily identified and the most prevalent taste in the brew. The beer clocks in at 5.5% Alcohol by volume.

AN1:But that is not all we have some special ingredients that make this ale our own.

AN2 What makes it so unique.

AN1: Well we harvest the best Hype from the fanboy fields of Roswell , Georgia!

AN1: Next we mix in some mediocrity that comes from the fine folks at Single Player Industries.

AN1:Finally we top it all off with a heavy dose of fail-dust made right here  on Level-5 of our factory!

AN2:Wow that does sound great!

AN1:Sure does! Drink enough of this and you will for get all those shameful moments. Like when you laughed at your mother making farting noises with her vagina!

AN2: Hey that was one time and….

AN1: Well folks in just a moment our lines will open up and for the price of 60$+tax you too can try out all White Knight f-ALE has to offer.

AN2: Goodnight folks~!  Buy some White Knight f-ALE!

So, even though you hate on a game without playing it (AGAIN), we still laughed quite a lot.

Our winner, because he came up with a commercial that was well written and thought out, and came up with a name that works and has been now used by Chris for the name of his beer, Rick Barton aka Physh360.

WHOG.A.S BROWN ALE
Written by
PHYSH360 (RICK BARTON)
Based on, THE INDIS PODCAST.
TWITTER: PHYSH360
VGEVO: PHYSH360

WHOGAS BROWN ALE COMMERCIAL

A MAN COMES HOME AFTER A BAD DAY AT WORK PLOPS DOWN ON HIS
COUCH AND TURNS ON HIS TV. A PS3 COMMERCIAL IS JUST ENDING
AS ANOTHER COMMERCIAL COMES ON.

SALESMAN
ARE YOU AT A DEAD END JOB AND FEEL
AS IF YOU HAVE THE WORLD ON YOUR
SHOULDERS?

THE MAN NODS.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF TRAFFIC,
HEALTH CARE ISSUES, AND SENDING
YOUR XBOX IN FOR RED RING REPAIRS?

MAN:
(ENTHUSIASTICALLY)
YA!

SALESMAN:
DO YOU SUSPECT YOUR WIFE IS HAVING
AN ONLINE AFFAIR BECAUSE OF YOUR
ERECTILE DISFUNCTION?

MAN SLIGHTLY LOWERS HIS HEAD IN EMBARRASSMENT WHILE NODDING
SLOWLY.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
WELL YOU DESERVE A WHOGAS BROWN
ALE!

MAN LOOKS UP AT SCREEN IN INTEREST. TV SHOWS THE BEER BEING
POURED INTO A FROSTY GLASS.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
LET IT’S RICH CREAMY CHARACTER AND
SWEET HONEY TASTE BRING YOU A MILD
INEBRIATION THAT HELPS TRANSPORT
YOU TO A BETTER STATE OF MIND!

MAN IS SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THE COUCH NOW WITH GREAT
INTEREST.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
WHOGAS GIVES YOU THE POWER TO
FORGET YOUR PROBLEMS, URINATE IN
PUBLIC, AND YELL “YOU DON’T KNOW
ME. YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
ME!” AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!

MAN SMILING STANDS UP REACHING INTO HIS POCKET FOR HIS KEYS.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
SO GRAB YOURSELF A WHOGAS BECAUSE
AT THE END OF THE DAY; REALLY;
WHOOOOOO GIVES A SHIT!

MAN LEAVES THE ROOM TO HEAD OUT FOR HIS TRUCK.

SALESMAN (CONT’D):
REMEMBER THE GAMER CAVE BREWING
COMPANY ENCOURAGES YOU TO DRINK
RESPONSIBLY.

Congratulations to Rick, winner of the March Amazon Gift Card Contest and namer of Chris’ beer! Keep an eye out for the contest for April. That one should be interesting.

Later people.